When you’re not sure if Couples Therapy is the next step, try Discernment Counseling
What do we do when we care so much for someone, but we are unsure where the relationship is headed?
One of the most uncomfortable feelings can be a feeling of uncertainty.
Uncertainty can feel even more difficult in a relationship, where you want to be respectful and clear about what you need while also balancing your needs with those of your partner.
It can feel like higher stakes, because it is.
When a relationship reaches an impasse, finding clarity can feel especially important.
How does one get clarity on which direction the relationship should go when things have not been going well?
If you are thinking “will couples therapy be worth it or even help me and my partner’s problems?” you are asking the right questions.
Maybe you are thinking,
We fight all the time, and rarely have positive moments, but is it enough for me to leave?
Should I see it through?
What would it look like to separate or to stay and work things out?
Are we past the point of even wanting to work things out?
If you are asking yourself these questions, discernment counseling will give you a space to explore them.
Discernment counseling is a chance to reflect and consider your options in your relationship
It is a designated time to step back from trying to solve conflict and instead explore whether you and your partner are both willing to work toward solving it.
To be clear, discernment counseling is not couples therapy.
Couples therapy is for couples who have decided that they want to work on the relationship.
In discernment counseling couples are deciding if they want to work on the relationship.
With discernment counseling you can assess motivation within a relationship and explore different options to move forward.
The options presented in discernment counseling are explored in three different paths
Path 1: Staying together without making significant changes
Path 2: separation or divorce
Path 3: committing to couples therapy to work on challenges within relationship
Sessions are a mixture of meeting together as a couple and individually with a therapist. You can expect to slow things down, understand what brought you both to this point and the patterns that have developed in your relationship.
Sessions are intended to help you feel less stuck and gain clarity about what is needed to move forward in the relationship.
You and your partner do not have to go through the process of uncertainty in the relationship alone. With discernment counseling you won’t have to.
Written by Kristiana Guzman, LMFT #152965
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Tala Mental Health
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