Coming Back Home After Self-Abandonment

Home is meant to be a sacred sanctuary—a place where we can rest, exhale, and know we belong.

But for many of us, home hasn’t felt safe in a very long time. It’s become something we’re constantly searching for in other people, achievements, or external validation.

When we consistently dismiss, minimize, or question ourselves, our own feelings, and our own existence, we begin to distrust ourselves. Over time, we learn that our inner world, our home, isn’t safe to listen to.

We have learned that emotions are “wrong,” “too much,” or “bad.” Instead of being a place of safety, home became a place of tension, criticism, hypervigilance, or numbness. However, our emotions are neither good nor bad—they are information. They are part of what makes us human. They tell us that we exist, that something within us is asking to be noticed, understood, or cared for.

What is it in your home that needs your attention and tending to right now?

Our emotions deserve our attention, compassion, and care—not because they always reflect the facts of a situation, but because they reflect a real internal experience.

When you learn to trust yourself, your own body starts feeling like home.

It’s about rebuilding the home that has always belonged to you.

Ask yourself:

·  When did I first learn that my feelings weren’t safe?What helps me feel most like myself?

·  When do I abandon myself to keep peace?

·  What does “home” feel like in my body?

·  If I fully trusted myself, what would I do differently this week?

·  What is one way I can make my inner world feel safer today?

Sometimes, coming home to yourself is a journey of learning and unlearning about what it means to trust yourself.

It means acknowledging that what we feel is real and worthy of understanding. From that foundation, genuine self-esteem can begin to grow.

Every time we listen to our bodies, honor our emotions, choose self-compassion…

We are finding ourselves back home.

So breathe, slowly.

One brick at a time.

Written by Cat Nguyen, AMFT #153750
Associate Marriage and Family Therapist at Tala Mental Health